How I Shut Down John Cow dot com

As with any poorly constructed barn, one bump from a rogue cow can bring the whole thing crashing down. That bump came last weekend when this blog asked the question, “John Chow / John Cow – Same Person?”

While no accusations were made and most readers thought it was a joke, as you can see, it caught the attention of the key players. (Busted by an avatar!)



There were no moos of protest or defense offered at the time. I’m sure the herd hoped this would pass like a cloud over the pasture but the fact is, in less than a week the whole corral collapsed.

The attempts to avoid the slaughterhouse were valiant. The entire herd mooed in approval at the first month revenue figures but the questions still hung over the barnyard like the smell of fresh cow pies.

By day five the Big Beef dropped the hammer. Although an attempt was made to cover the hoof prints by posting a silly cease and desist letter addressed to a fictitious character. (Would Disney shut down production because some lawyer sent a nasty letter to Donald Duck?) The inconsistencies were obvious and within 24 hours anyone trying to enter the old pasture ended up on a car lot.



It wasn’t intentional. I was only questioning some things that seemed suspicious. Now I live in fear of a well armed militia of matronly milk producers. I don’t want to be the victim of a stampede or violent attack and although I have received promises of support and protection from both the United States Cattlemen’s Association and the Dallas Cowboys, I am still concerned for my safety.

If I do disappear in a cloud of dust and big bovine butts, all I ask of you my dearest readers is to remember me when I sat high in the saddle not when I was trampled under hoof.

I think I’ll go have a nice steak and a tall glass of milk.


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*** On Edit ***

The Mad Cow Disease continues! As you can see here there has obviusly been some evil deal struck out behind the barn to bring the herd back together. How can anyone believe any of the explanations and patty flinging going on right now to explain all of this?