Am I Being Unrealistic?

Seriously, I want to know. I really want to know what you guys think about this.

Is it asking too much that someone actually VISIT a blog before they join the community or, for Pete’s sake, make you a contact?

Look, I’m not as stupid as I look. I know social networking is the single biggest reason for this blog’s success. No doubt about it, but come on.

When I first joined MyBlogLog I was flattered when someone made me a contact, what with the nice little announcement that I had a new fan. After a couple of weeks I realized that a number of these folks had never been on the blog. I decided to stop adding any new contacts that had not actually visited the site.

When we discussed this topic last week I had accumulated 28 fans that were apparently smitten with by avatar, although the infatuation wasn’t quite strong enough for them to click one more time. As I post this, the number is up to 42.

Am I missing something here? What’s the point? Is there some sort of prize for having the most contacts?

I would never dream of listing someone among my contacts without at least knowing what they have written on their blog. I mean, for all these people in the peanut gallery know, we’re in here discussing the meanest ways to kick puppies and shave house cats. How would they know any different? Obviously they don’t care.

Understand this. I’m not griping about any of you guys. I know how things work and I have no problem adding anyone who has taken the time to visit here, but rest assured, I will visit your site before I do. The only way I wouldn’t add you is if your content offends me and that’s not easy.

Back to my question. Am I being unrealistic? Do I expect too much? What do you do? Do you ignore them? Do you just add everyone that comes along? I’m seriously asking for input here.

Thanks for being patient during my rant (Yes Rhys, I know.) and thank you for taking the time to respond.


sapheyerblu said...

I totally understand where you're coming from. I never add someone as a contact unless I like their blog. I always check out a blog a few times before adding them as a contact or before joining their community.

However, think of it this way. It's their loss if they don't come back. You have a great blog with a lot of great information. If they don't want to come back and see what you're up to, so be it. Just leaves that much more for the rest of us.

Some of us out here love your blog.

Ad Tracker said...

Sapheyerblu - You're so sweet. Thank you bunches.

Some people read and don't come back, that's cool. What kills me are the ones that want to act like part of the party but have never been inside.:(

How are your articles coming. Can't wait to see what you do with your new project :-)

Anonymous said...

I generally don't mind. I know how I used to read blogs... from Google reader, without participating. Until I started my own blog, that is. I think you'll see that anyone on BlogLog who isn't taking time to participate and build a connection with their readers doesn't have a blog that's experiencing much growth, anyways. You'll find people to connect with and gain their loyalty. If it bothers you, thin out the ranks of BL friends, or make room for some new communities. That way you aren't playing a part in a vanity party and you might open yourself up to some new bloggers, readers, or communities that you might not have seeked out otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'll start by saying thanks for stopping by my blogs, joining my community.

I think that one of the first few people that ever picked me as a fan (and I had the same initial reaction of thrill that someone would pick me as a contact that wasn't in my usual stream of commenters) was someone that picked "everyone" as a contact.

I think that, in some ways, it's a mark of status. Or maybe it's just spam.

In any case, I'm more discriminating in my contact list and joining communities-- I have to see what's going on at the blog, who the other contacts are and things like that-- so that I know that I'm signing up with a good group.

After all, who the contacts I display are a reflection of me to anyone who comes to my home page.

tomawesome said...

hey I think I added you but it was 'cause I like yr blog! you have some good info here. chekkit out I'm even leaving a comment. whoa :)

Anonymous said...

I think you absolutely have to visit the blog before you join the community. I don't think a lot of people do. I think these people are more of a viral blogger just trying to drive up adsense; they want you to visit their blog. Like take instance the user richguys who has a ton of blogs that are all just keyword driven. He left me a comment Nice blog and never visited my blog.

But seriously anything with a question is asking too much. :\

Ad Tracker said...

@ Chris - Yeah, I know it must not bother most people, it just bugs me. I'm sure I'll get over it ;-)

@ MInTheGap - Thanks for joining here as well! You make my point exactly. People judge you by the company you keep. Nice blog by the way :-)

@ Brent - I think that guy left the same message here. Suckered me into visiting his site.

LOL!! You don't like any questions huh? Thanks for answering anyway.

Becky C. said...

I blogged about this a long time ago. It is part of the fallacy of Web 2.0 thinking. Most of these people are looking for traffic and join and are never heard from again.

I try to just be honest. I write what I write. And surprisingly, there are a number of people who are interested in what I have to say.

I wish there was more attention to substance on the Net--not just linking and SEO.

The Internet is just a new way to communicate, and if you have something interesting or fun, peeps come.


Anonymous said...

I added you over at Blogcatalog after reading this blog for a couple of days. I like how you have added alot more content in addition to the adsense experiment. Best of luck!


Sueblimely said...

Many people add/befriend/favorite/bump/fame (whatever the particular catch word is of the networking site you are on) just to gain links in return. Unfortunately, it is par for the course and it is probably unrealistic to expect anything different. I now completely ignore those who just leave a 'visit my blog' + url message, ignore the bad aspects of the networking sites and make the best of the good. I often add blogs without leaving a message at all but will comment on their blog itself. If I do message I will give a reason for adding them - something simple like I enjoy your content, interesting subject ..... It shows you have taken the time to read their content. I try to follow my rules of common courtesy. I have learned to say a polite no to requests for me to join communities if I feel that I do not have the time, or interest, to participate in them.

Ad Tracker said...

@ Becky - A wise comment. Perhaps I just think too much.

Oh well, I is what I is ;)

@ Amanda - Thank you for the add and I appreciate that you took it so seriously :)

You have a cool blog by the way!

Anonymous said...

You know, it's funny... I'm new to MyBlogLog and just found your blog through StumbleUpon rather than MBL.

I was as green as you at first, but I'm starting to catch on when it comes to spammers.

When I go to make a new contact that I don't really know that well, I visit the site, find something of interest, leave a comment on the site, and drop them a note on MBL. This way, they understand that I at least took the time to understand what they are trying to do...

I'm going to go poke around your site some more now, looks good so far!

Ad Tracker said...

Thanks Chuck! Hope you enjoyed your visit. Most Stumblers seem to walk in looking for the exit ;-)

Anonymous said...

it just bugs everyone, we said heere in Croatia "Ruka ruku mije".
Uf my english is realy bad when i must say something but that I write on Croatian try to sad if you invite someone that person will intvite you , that is like some kind of rule.
:(sorry my speling is :((((

Ad Tracker said...

Angie - Welcome to the blog!

I think I understand what you are saying and you agree.

Thanks for stopping in :)