Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Can Google Even Do This?

 

In response to the recent outcry, primarily from the blogging community, Google announced it has reworked the current PageRank policy toward paid linking.

 

As many people are already aware, the previous response to web sites that accept payment for linking has been to remove all PageRank from these sites, thereby removing all value from their links.

 

Google Executive VP of Blogger Relations, Allistair Paid, admitted this tactic may have been an over reaction.

 

"The initial response was probably a little heavy handed, a bit like swatting flies with a sledgehammer."

 

Paid said that, in coordination with Junior VP of International Ad Sales, Shaniqua Poorly, a new system has been developed. This new rank designation system will run in tandem with the current PageRank system.

 

Initially called the PaidPoorlyRankingSystem, the title eventually became, simply, PaidRank. This title was determined to cause the least disruption and could be easily integrated into the current system.

 

How is PaidRank different?

 

Link Strength

 

The old algorithm of measuring incoming links and content quality will still be used to determine a site's rank, however, the new algorithm will not assign as much value to the site's outgoing links.

 

Bar Colors

 

The new PaidRank designation will be noted by a subtle, yet easily recognizable, difference in the toolbar field. Where PageRank is displayed with a Green Bar, PaidRank will be displayed with a Red Bar as seen below.

 

 

 

Improvement with AdWords and AdSense

 

One of the most unusual differences will be the ability of publishers to improve their site's PaidRank through participation in the AdWords and AdSense programs.

 

By bidding on Keyword Advertising through AdWords, the site will receive a double benefit. Not only will participation in this system allow the ad links to contribute to the organic PaidRank, but the PaidRank will also be improved in proportion to the AdWords bids.

 

In an effort to help the small publisher who has limited funding, another option was also developed. The site owner may choose to run AdSense ad blocks and accept a reduced payout, thereby improving their PaidRank proportionately as well.

 

By fully utilizing both of these options, a publisher can improve the PaidRate of a site to the point that it passes along as much downstream link strength as a site under the PageRank system.

 

Opting In

 

Inclusion in the new PaidRank program is strictly voluntary and requires the publisher to specifically request inclusion by email.

 

Simply send an email to paidrank.optin@gmail.com requesting the opt in forms. The forms will arrive in PDF format so you can easily print them for your records and then email them back to the proper address depending on which program(s) you choose to participate in.

 

Summary

 

Chief  Executive of Media Relations, Mujibar Kandlewhozit, had this to say about Paid and Poorly's new program;

 

"The Google team hopes this compromise will be seen as a fair and equitable middle ground between the owners of the internet and the masses trying to gather a few crumbs from the passing traffic."

 

That pretty much says it all!

 

 

*On Edit*

 

It has been brought to my attention that some or all of this information may not be completely accurate. My advise, as always, is to do as I do and research it yourself and stop believing everything you read on the internet.

 

 

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* Thank you to all of you Stumblers and Sphinners!

This article went HOT at 9:51 am!